Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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