wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
