Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
