We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
