Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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