You're so nebulous sometimes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
