And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Blood and glitter go together right?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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