u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
