who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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