I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
