So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i barfeds in our rink
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
