you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
