tell your sister to shave her snatch
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
