If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
