Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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