You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
jump out the window naked night went bad
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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