I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
