So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
