I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
