Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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