no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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