Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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