I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
