we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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