Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
