At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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