We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
