I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
