i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Randomize