Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
