also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
