He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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