Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
