So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
