For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
