I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize