my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am one with the molecules
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
