I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize