Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
