I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
