dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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