So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
