Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
