I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
