I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
