how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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