Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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