Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
