I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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