considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
