my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
