babies were throwing up all over the place
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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