Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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