and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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