Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
