so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
