I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
