After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize