Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My penis needs a shock collar
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
