They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
