I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
