He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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