I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize