I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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