I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am one with the molecules
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
