We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
