it was like his penis was on wheels.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize