What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
