we have officially lost it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
