I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize