He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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