Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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