Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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