Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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