and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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