Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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