she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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