Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it because I queefed?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize